Articles by Lyta Gold

Arms Industry Tycoon

Fulfill your most secret inner fantasies in the hot new game! Design your superweapon. Destabilize regions. Protect America.


The Rich Hippie’s Guide to Happiness

Life isn’t all diamond-infused cocktails and teleporting to private islands, even for the rich and famous!


The Secret Life of Jeffrey Bezos

The divorced chief executive of a shipping company fantasizes about being a spacefaring superhero.


Quiz: Are You Being Nice Enough About the Climate Apocalypse?

The world is on fire! But let’s talk about your tone, okay?


The Chart of Charts

Ever wonder what’s what? Now you know.


More Bloody Tales of Justice

Ghost stories of retribution. Warning: not for the faint of heart or Border Patrol agents.


How Your Brain Works

DOCTORS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW (about the hamsters)


Proposed Alternatives to Gender Reveals

A few exciting and much-safer nonbinary celebrations to take the place of the disaster that is the gender reveal party.


Choose Your Own Nightmare

Waking life is awful enough, but should you wish to escape into something worse, Current Affairs has just the solution.


There Is No “Birth Rate Crisis”

Why the coming “baby bust” isn’t a problem at all, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something very, very sinister.


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